Pt. 2 - Learning the Language of the Psalms
The Structure of the Biblical laments provides a container to hold our chaotic emotions, giving us a path to follow when we feel lost in our pain
Dear Friend,
Engaging in a spiritual practice of lament can be challenging, but it's important to remember that you have agency throughout the process. Agency, in this context, is the feeling of being in control of your experience and being an active participant, rather than a passive observer. It's about remembering that you have choices and can respond to what comes up for you.
Your well-being is the priority. Listen to your body. Pause when you need to. You are in control of your own experience. If reading the Psalms brings up difficult feelings, it's okay. You have permission to take a step back, or to take it very slow through these practices. If you find yourself experiencing conflicting feelings, you are not alone. You are doing an amazing job of honoring your experiences, and maybe even breathing a little space to allow God into your pain, through honest lament.
—The Speak Out Team
The Anatomy of Lament
Lament isn't just a chaotic outburst; it has a structure. This structure is not a rigid formula to be followed, but a container that can help hold our messy, overwhelming emotions. When we don't have our own words, the Psalms give us a script. Let's look at Psalm 13 as our guide.
Psalm 13
For the director of music. A psalm of David.
1 How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
3 Look on me and answer, Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
4 and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
5 But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6 I will sing the Lord’s praise,
for he has been good to me.
Most Laments follows these movements
Address & Intro Complaint: The psalmist turns to God, often calling God by name. “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?” (v. 1) This is an act of orientation. It directs the pain toward God.
The Complaint (The "But Why?"): This is where the psalmist lays out the raw, honest details of the struggle. It's a protest against the way things are. "How long will my enemy triumph over me?" (v. 2). There is no sugarcoating here.
The Petition (The "Help!"): The psalmist makes a direct request. It's a cry for action. “Consider and answer me, O Lord my God! Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep the sleep of death.” (v. 3). This is moving from protest to petition.
The Turn to Trust (The "And Yet..."): Often, but not always, the psalm ends with a statement of trust or praise. “But I trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.” (v. 5).
A trauma-informed caveat
For many, especially those healing from trauma, this final "turn to trust" can feel impossible or even dishonest. Please hear this: It is okay if you can't get there right now. The Bible itself gives us permission for this. Psalm 88 is a powerful lament that ends in complete darkness, with no turn to praise. Your lament is valid and complete even if it stays in the "Complaint" and "Petition" stages. The goal is honesty, not to just put a positive spin on the raw emotions we’re feeling.
Read Psalm 88, and notice how you feel at the end.
PSALM 88
A song. A psalm of the Sons of Korah. For the director of music.
1 Lord, you are the God who saves me;
day and night I cry out to you.
2 May my prayer come before you;
turn your ear to my cry.
3 I am overwhelmed with troubles
and my life draws near to death.
4 I am counted among those who go down to the pit;
I am like one without strength.
5 I am set apart with the dead,
like the slain who lie in the grave,
whom you remember no more,
who are cut off from your care.
6 You have put me in the lowest pit,
in the darkest depths.
7 Your wrath lies heavily on me;
you have overwhelmed me with all your waves.
8 You have taken from me my closest friends
and have made me repulsive to them.
I am confined and cannot escape;
9 my eyes are dim with grief.
I call to you, Lord, every day;
I spread out my hands to you.
10 Do you show your wonders to the dead?
Do their spirits rise up and praise you?
11 Is your love declared in the grave,
your faithfulness in Destruction?
12 Are your wonders known in the place of darkness,
or your righteous deeds in the land of oblivion?
13 But I cry to you for help, Lord;
in the morning my prayer comes before you.
14 Why, Lord, do you reject me
and hide your face from me?
15 From my youth I have suffered and been close to death;
I have borne your terrors and am in despair.
16 Your wrath has swept over me;
your terrors have destroyed me.
17 All day long they surround me like a flood;
they have completely engulfed me.
18 You have taken from me friend and neighbor—
darkness is my closest friend.
Practice: Praying with Psalms
We're going to use the ancient practice of Lectio Divina (divine reading) with a portion of a lament psalm. The goal is not to analyze it, but to let it speak to us.
Read the following verses from Psalm 22:1-5 slowly, two or three times.
My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer; and by night, but find no rest.
Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel. In you our ancestors trusted; they trusted, and you delivered them. To you they cried, and were saved; in you they trusted, and were not put to shame.
After reading, sit in silence, taking a few deep breaths. Consider these questions without any pressure to have an answer:
What about this passage resonates with you or gives you language you like?
What do you not like about this? Is it a more positive phrase that you are not ready to hear? It is okay to be totally honest.
What emotion does this passage stir in you?
As you read it, did you notice any tension in your body in feeling the pain and weight of the psalm? Did you notice your body relaxing as you may have read a similar feeling to what the psalmist was experiencing?
Journal Reflection
Which of the four "movements" of lament (Address, Complaint, Petition, Trust) feels the most familiar or accessible to you in this moment? Which feels the most difficult?
What was the experience of reading Psalm 22 like? (No need to share the content of your thoughts, just the experience of the practice itself.)