Pt. 1 - Permission to Grieve
Lament is not a sign of weak faith; it's an act of relational faith, giving a voice to our pain in the presence of a God who listens.
Dear Friend,
There are seasons in our lives when the path gets difficult, when grief or confusion becomes our closest companion. It is in these very seasons that the ancient practice of lament becomes not a sign of weakness, but a vital expression of faith.
As we approach this sensitive topic, please know that your safety and agency are paramount. You are in control here. Participate as you feel comfortable; it's okay to simply listen and observe, and you never have to share more than feels right for you.
Most importantly, listen to your body. If you feel overwhelmed, anxious, or numb, that's a wise signal to pause and care for yourself. Feel free to take a break, get a glass of water, or do one of the simple grounding exercises that follow.
Please bring all of who you are—your anger, your doubt, your sadness, your confusion. It is all welcome here. Our goal isn't to fix anyone, but to make space for the honest, complex reality of living in a broken world.
—The Speak Out Team
Is it okay not to be okay?
For many of us, church culture has subtly (or not so subtly) taught us that faith means being happy, victorious, and full of praise. We learn to suppress "negative" emotions, seeing them as a failure of trust.
But the Bible paints a very different picture. Roughly a third of the Psalms are psalms of lament. The book of Lamentations is a raw outcry of communal grief. Job argues with God. Jeremiah is called "the weeping prophet." And Jesus himself, in the garden and on the cross, lamented.
Lament vs Whining
Whining is complaining about God. It’s often self-focused and stays stuck in the problem. Lament is a complaint addressed to God. It is a form of prayer. It’s an act of profound trust that says, "I believe you are good and powerful enough to hear my pain, my anger, and my questions. I am bringing the full, uncensored truth of my experience to you, because you are the only one who can truly handle it."
For those who have experienced trauma, God may not always feel safe. The act of turning toward God with pain can be incredibly difficult. That is okay. This practice is an invitation, not a demand. Sometimes, the first step of lament is simply acknowledging the pain to ourselves, without yet bringing God into it.
Practice: Grounding Breath
Just take a moment to connect with your body and the present moment. You can use this grounding practice at any point during our series when you feel activated or disconnected.
Find your feet. If you're sitting, press your feet firmly onto the floor. Notice the sensation of the ground beneath you—solid, stable, holding you up.
Notice your breath. Don't try to change it. Just notice the air entering your nose and filling your lungs. Notice it leaving your body.
Box Breathing. If it feels comfortable, try this simple pattern:
Inhale slowly for a count of 4.
Hold your breath for a count of 4.
Exhale slowly for a count of 4.
Hold the exhale for a count of 4.
Repeat. Continue this for a minute or two, allowing your nervous system to settle.
Reflection
Take 5 to 10 minutes to journal and answer these questions. Notice what feelings come up as you reflect, and welcome them without any judgement.
What has been your past experience with expressing emotions like sadness or anger in a faith context?
What part of the definition of lament (a complaint addressed to God) feels most challenging or most hopeful to you?
As you listen to your body right now, what do you notice? (e.g., tension, calmness, etc.)