Silence & Solitude Pt. 1
We know many of you have faced challenges and adversities that have left deep wounds. Trauma can leave us feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, and longing for a sense of safety and peace that seems distant. It's important to acknowledge that healing is a journey, not a destination, and it's okay to seek tools and practices that support your well-being along the way.
Silence and solitude can offer a path towards healing and a deeper connection with God, mirroring Jesus' own practice of withdrawing to quiet places for reflection and renewal.
Dear Underdogs,
We know many of you have faced challenges and adversities that have left deep wounds. Trauma can leave us feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, and longing for a sense of safety and peace that seems distant. It's important to acknowledge that healing is a journey, not a destination, and it's okay to seek tools and practices that support your well-being along the way.
Silence and solitude, like Sabbath, is a profound practice that can bring us to spaces of deep soul rest, eliminating the noise and distraction around us. This practice isn't about isolating yourself, which can often worsen the pain of trauma. Instead, it offers a chosen space to connect with yourself and with God.
Silence, in this context, is about creating a deliberate quietness. It's turning down the noise of the world and the noise in our minds to allow for a deeper listening. This might mean turning off your phone, finding a quiet corner, or simply taking a few moments to breathe and be still.
Solitude is the practice of being alone not out of loneliness, but to be with God. It's about carving out time to reflect, to process, and to simply be. When practiced in a safe and intentional way, solitude can provide respite from the chaos that trauma often leaves in its wake.
For those of us who have experienced trauma, silence and solitude can sometimes feel daunting. You might find that stillness brings up difficult memories or heightened anxiety. That's why it's crucial to approach these next 3 weeks of practices with gentleness, compassion, and an unwavering commitment to your own safety.
We hope these practices can help you integrate your experiences and begin to heal, distinguishing between a healthy "aloneness" and the damaging experience of isolation.
Remember, you are not alone in your journey. May you find moments of peace and connection with the Father as you explore the gifts of silence and solitude.
—Sarah
WEEK SIX: SILENCE & SOLITUDE, PART 1
Why are silence and solitude so important to our spiritual well-being? Well, we see many instances in scripture of Jesus slipping away to solitary places. We know that in his humanity, he needed moments of seclusion, not to get away from people, but to engage with the Father and pray, remembering who he was, and receiving strength to continue his ministry. Just like Jesus, we have to take moments to do some inventory on our capacity, and create space to listen to the Voice we really need to hear.
SOLITUDE VS LONELINESS
It’s important to recognize the distinction here between loneliness and solitude— loneliness is that feeling of being unknown and unseen. When we’ve experienced trauma, the feeling of loneliness can become all too familiar… even when you’re in a room full of people, you can totally still experience feelings of loneliness, often exacerbated by feeling dysregulated, stuck in fight or flight, that others might perceive you differently, or that others are untrustworthy. Most often, loneliness is driven by fear, lies, and shame.
Solitude, on the other hand, is intentional. We live in a world full of noise and distraction, and as humans, we need to practice solitude as a form of rest and retreat for the mind, body, and soul. The intention is not to escape or numb out, just as we talked about in our Sabbath practice, but to get creative and get our bodies to a physical space where we can receive love. Solitude is not a form of alienation of the mind, or retaliation of the abandonment you may have experienced, nor is it about creating distance and separation from people who may hurt you. It is simply about being with the trustworthy One who knows you best.
CHECK-IN WITH YOURSELF
As we approach this practice, we want you to take it slow, discovering the difference between loneliness and solitude, and noticing what you need as you step into the Silence & Solitude practices. Maybe being physically isolated from others is not at all what you need, and that is okay. Or that the idea of true silence feels scary because that is where voices or memories start to pop up, leaving you feeling even more triggered. There are so many ways we can do this practice while being mindful of our healing journey, whether that is being “alone together” with a trusted friend, quieting your mind by actually listening to the sounds of nature or calming music as “silence”… whatever options feel safe are the right options for you. And remember, with these practices, we start small, and slowly build upon them. The goal is always to build connection with the Creator, gently allowing Him to heal and shape you toward who he created you to be—your truest, whole self.
Let’s take about 10 minutes to check in with ourselves. You can do this at your table, or find a comfortable spot in the room. Start by taking some deep belly breaths, breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth. Wait in silence, inviting the Holy Spirit, as you tune in to your breathing, taking this moment just for you.
Once you’ve settled in, internally ask the following questions:
Does this moment of silence feel like a welcome invitation to my body, or is it uncomfortable?
If it feels uncomfortable, where in my body am I feeling it? If it does feel comfortable, where am I noticing peace in my body?
If it feels uncomfortable, what do I physically need in this moment to ease this feeling? Example: do I need gentle movement, a quiet self-soothing technique like soft arm scratches or a self-hug, some music, or a friend by my side? If anything comes up, take a moment to write it down.
Now, if it feels safe to you, surrender this feeling to God. Ask him to empathize with the way you’re feeling and sit in this space with you. Allow him to speak, or to just sit with you in silence, letting his presence hold any weight you might be feeling. No need to rush through this moment. If you are having a hard time focusing, maybe imagine your “safe place” and just be there for a moment.
Gently come back to the room, noticing the colors, textures, and sounds around you. As you come back to your table, or if you are doing this practice on your own, take a moment to write down how that moment of “silence and solitude” felt to you. Maybe it came easy and felt natural, like a nice break from the busyness of your day. Or, maybe it was a bit more difficult… it can be a chore to quiet your mind. That is okay! This is all about practice. If you notice your mind wandering, just keep going back to your breath and give yourself a TON of compassion and patience. Maybe it even helps to have a mantra to go back to, like, “I am safe, I am loved” or simply whispering, “Jesus” as many times as you need to stay centered in the moment. Healing is such hard work, and we are so proud of you for taking this time for yourself.
GROUP DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
What challenges do you face in carving out time for silence and solitude? (Ex. Overall busyness, work schedule, little kids, apartment living, extroverted personality, etc.)
What does silence and solitude typically look like for you?
What is your deepest fear and greatest hope for practicing silence and solitude this week?
Set a small goal. Maybe it’s starting with 5-10 minutes of silence and solitude just a few days out of the week, however it feels comfortable to you. Share with the group how you’d like to implement this practice into your life this week.
Silence & Solitude Pt. 2
I understand many of you are going through incredibly difficult times, and my heart goes out to anyone carrying such heavy pain. Our team at Speak Out, including volunteers, mental health advocates, psychologists, pastors, coaches, and staff, have so many stories of pain and trauma, which is why we are so passionate about breaking the stigma and doing what we do. You are not alone in being here, doing the hard work of healing, because we are here too, still on our own healing journeys, and allowing God to break through the darkness, one day at a time.
Silence and solitude can offer a path towards healing and a deeper connection with God, mirroring Jesus' own practice of withdrawing to quiet places for reflection and renewal.
Dear Underdogs,
I understand many of you are going through incredibly difficult times, and my heart goes out to anyone carrying such heavy pain. Our team at Speak Out, including volunteers, mental health advocates, psychologists, pastors, coaches, and staff, have so many stories of pain and trauma, which is why we are so passionate about breaking the stigma and doing what we do. You are not alone in being here, doing the hard work of healing, because we are here too, still on our own healing journeys, and allowing God to break through the darkness, one day at a time.
This week’s practice is about silence. Not just the absence of noise, but about finding a quiet space within yourself, where you can connect with God's peace, even when everything around you (and inside you) feels chaotic. I know that trauma can make our minds and hearts feel like a battlefield, but I truly believe that in those moments of stillness, we can find a refuge in Him. This isn't about pretending the pain isn't there, but about creating space to hear that still, small voice that can speak healing and hope into our deepest wounds. I'm praying this helps you find a little bit of that silence, that shalom, in the middle of the storm.
—Sarah
The Gift of Silence
Trauma often fills our lives with noise—the echoes of painful memories, the clamor of anxiety, the loud voices of self-doubt. Silence, in this context, is not merely the absence of sound, but a deliberate choice to quiet the internal and external chaos. It is an invitation to create space for God's still, small voice to be heard. Psalm 46:10 says, "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
Jesus often withdrew to quiet places to meet with the Father. We see many times throughout scripture that he would retreat whenever he was feeling a range of emotions and needed rest— exhaustion, sadness, sorrow, dread, anxiety about the future. He shows us that emotions, both positive or negative, are safe with God, and are even ways to connect with Him. Often times in our culture, even in faith communities, we do our best to hide our messiest emotions. We feel we must show up polished, with smiles plastered across our faces, so as not to let on that we might be struggling. Showing up with the hint of grief, anger, or anxiety might make people think something is wrong with us, or maybe it would just make others uncomfortable, so often times we mask it. Or maybe we just dip out on public events altogether so we don’t have to pretend.
When you’re healing from trauma, this is actually where the value of silence and solitude come in. You can go to those quiet places, and be your most authentic self, bringing every raw emotion to the feet of Jesus, because he understands.
Reflect & Journal
THE NATURE OF NOISE
What are the "noises" in your life that stem from your trauma (e.g., flashbacks, nightmares, panic attacks, self-criticism)?
Consider the different forms this "noise" takes. Is it a constant barrage, or does it come in waves?
How does it affect your body (e.g., increased heart rate, muscle tension)?
GOD’S PEACE
How does this “noise” prevent you from experiencing God's peace?
Explore what "God's peace" means to you. Is it a feeling of calm, a sense of safety, or something else?
How have you experienced God’s peace in the past, and how is that different from your current experience?
BEING STILL
Psalm 46:10 is not a suggestion, but a command. What does it mean to "be still"? Does it mean to stop all activity? Or does it mean to quiet your inner being?
Delve deeper into the concept of stillness. In Eastern contemplative traditions, stillness involves practices like meditation, where the goal is to observe thoughts without attachment. How might this inform a Christian understanding of stillness? How does this relate to concepts like "centering prayer" or "resting in the Spirit"?
SILENCE AS FAITH
In what ways can practicing silence be an act of faith, trusting that God is in your midst, moving on your behalf, even when your inner world feels out of control?
When we are used to problem-solving and taking action, silence can feel unproductive. How can we reframe silence as an active expression of trust, rather than passive resignation?
Consider times when you have had to wait on God in the past. How did silence play a role in those experiences?
Practice
Find a quiet place where you can be alone. If you are at Underdogs Club, find a comfortable, quiet spot in the room. If you are doing this practice on your own time, it could be a room in your house, a garden, or a peaceful spot in nature.
Take a moment to eliminate any distractions, like silencing your phone, closing any doors to outside noise, etc.. If it would be helpful, bring in any calming sensory elements (e.g. soft lighting, your favorite essential oil, holding a comfort possession, wrapping yourself in a blanket, etc.) and then settle in.
Begin with a simple breathing exercise. Take slow, deep breaths, focusing on the sensation of the air entering and leaving your body.
As you breathe, acknowledge the "noises" within you. Don't try to suppress them, but simply observe them without judgment.
Repeat a short phrase or prayer, such as "God, be still my soul," or "Your peace surpasses all understanding."
Allow any emotions to rise to the surface without judgment. Express them in whatever way feels like release to you, offering them over to God.
Sit in silence for 5-10 minutes. If your mind wanders, gently redirect your attention back to your breath or your chosen phrase.
When you are finished, journal about your experience. What did you notice? How did you feel?
Prayer
Father,
I come before you seeking the stillness that only you can provide. My heart is often filled with the noise of trauma, making it difficult to hear your voice. I ask for your grace to quiet the chaos within me. Help me to trust in your presence and your power, even when I feel overwhelmed. Teach me to practice the discipline of silence, not as an escape, but as a way to draw closer to you. May your peace, which transcends all understanding, guard my heart and mind.
Amen.
Silence & Solitude Pt. 3
As you continue on this journey of healing, I wanted to share another piece that has been really meaningful to me. This part is all about solitude. I know— solitude can sometimes feel like the last thing we need when we're hurting. Trauma can make us feel so isolated, and the thought of being alone with our thoughts can be scary. But, like we’ve covered before, there's a big difference between loneliness and solitude.
Silence and solitude can offer a path towards healing and a deeper connection with God, mirroring Jesus' own practice of withdrawing to quiet places for reflection and renewal.
Dear Underdogs,
As you continue on this journey of healing, I wanted to share another piece that has been really meaningful to me. This part is all about solitude. I know— solitude can sometimes feel like the last thing we need when we're hurting. Trauma can make us feel so isolated, and the thought of being alone with our thoughts can be scary. But, like we’ve covered before, there's a big difference between loneliness and solitude.
Solitude is about intentionally creating space to be with God, to process our emotions, and to allow Him to meet us in our pain. It's a sacred space where we can be honest with ourselves and with Him, without the distractions and pressures of the outside world. It's in these moments that I've often found the greatest comfort and healing. True solitude, when approached with intention and self-compassion, can become a “safe container” where we can finally let our guard down. It's a space where the external pressures and demands fade, allowing us to listen to the whispers of our own hearts and the gentle promptings of the Holy Spirit. Here, we can process emotions without judgment, allowing tears to fall, anger to surface, or fear to be acknowledged, all within the protective presence of God.
My prayer is that you'll find this to be a safe and healing space for you, a place not of isolation, but where you can encounter the One who heals all wounds and binds up all broken hearts.
—Sarah
WEEK SEVEN: SILENCE & SOLITUDE, PART 3
THE HEALING POWER OF SOLITUDE
Solitude is often misunderstood as loneliness, but in the context of healing from trauma, it is a sacred space for being alone with God. It is in these moments of intentional separation that we can process our pain, grieve our losses, and receive the comfort and healing that our souls desperately need.
ELIJAH ON MT. HOREB
In 1 Kings 19, after the prophet Elijah claimed victory over the prophets of Baal, he received threats over his life by Ahab and Jezebel. He fled in fear, leaving his servant behind, and journeyed out to the wilderness alone. There, he sat under a broom bush, so full of despair, that he even asked God to take his life.
1 Kings 19v4-13: “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep. All at once an angel touched him and said, “Get up and eat.” He looked around, and there by his head was some bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again. The angel of the Lord came back a second time and touched him and said, “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. There he went into a cave and spent the night.
And the word of the Lord came to him: “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
He replied, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”
The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.” (NIV)
Then, God gave him directions for what to do next, and Elijah listened. See, Elijah sought solitude out of fear and desperation, just trying to escape, and God met him with exactly what he needed— first, he met his basic human needs! Elijah really needed a nap and a snack in this moment (I think we can all relate!) God provided him rest and sustenance, giving him the strength to physically get back up again and keep going to where God was leading him. He then tells him to go stand on the mountain and wait, enduring a crazy storm, earthquake, and wildfire. I imagine Elijah fully expected to hear God’s voice in the drama of these events. Yet, God spoke to him in a gentle whisper. In the stillness after the storm.
What really strikes me in this story is God’s kindness and attunement to Elijah. He knew just what he needed, and cared for him. Elijah was a friend of God’s, and God didn’t need to shout at him to get him to listen. You see, God doesn’t need to shout at his friends. When we come to a place of established trust and safe intimacy with the Father, through seasons of despair, doubt, fear, whatever it may be, we learn to recognize his whisper. We trust that even though we might be walking through hell, he is there with us all along, gently tending to our needs and listening to our cries.
PRACTICE: JOURNAL REFLECTION
Solitude can be viewed as a "safe container" to let our guard down. Reflect on a time when you felt truly safe enough to be vulnerable in silence. What made that space feel safe? If you haven't experienced this, what would need to be present for you to feel safe enough to let your guard down in solitude?
Elijah experienced powerful winds, earthquakes, and fire, but God was in the "gentle whisper" (1 Kings 19:11-12). In your own life, what "loud" distractions (external or internal) often prevent you from hearing the "gentle whispers" of your own heart or of God?
In solitude, we can process all of our emotions without judgment. What emotions do you often find yourself avoiding or judging when they arise? How might entering a space of intentional solitude allow you to approach these emotions with more compassion, as Elijah did in his quiet moment with God?
Elijah was in a place of deep despair before hearing God's whisper. How does the idea of solitude as a "sacred sanctuary" resonate with your own experiences of seeking comfort or guidance during difficult times?
Consider the external pressures and demands in your own life. What are these pressures for you right now? How might intentionally stepping into moments of quiet help you discern God's voice amidst the noise, similar to Elijah's experience?
PRACTICE: SILENCE & SOLITUDE
Plan a period of solitude this week. This could be a few hours, a day, or even over the weekend, if possible. Choose a place where you feel safe and comfortable.
During your time of solitude, engage in activities that help you connect with God and process your emotions. This might include:
Reading scripture, particularly passages that offer comfort and hope (e.g., Psalm 23, Isaiah 40, Romans 8).
Journaling your thoughts and feelings, allowing yourself to be honest and vulnerable.
Praying, not just with words, but also through silence, listening for God's still, small voice.
Spending time in nature, observing God's creation and reflecting on his faithfulness.
Engaging in creative expression, such as painting, drawing, or writing poetry, as a way to process your emotions.
Limit distractions as much as possible. Turn off your phone, avoid social media, and create a space where you can be fully present with God and yourself.
As you spend time in solitude, allow yourself to grieve, to lament, and to express the full range of emotions that you are experiencing. Know that God is with you in your pain, and he is able to comfort and heal you.
Father,
I come before You, often weary and burdened, carrying the weight of the world and the echoes of past hurts. Thank you for the profound gift of solitude, not as isolation, but as a sacred sanctuary where I can truly let my guard down and find refuge in Your presence.
Lord, just as you met Elijah in the gentle whisper, help me to quiet the clamor of my mind and the noise my life. Give me the courage to step into moments of stillness, trusting that even when I feel alone, you are always with me—a safe and constant companion.
Heal my fragmented self in these quiet spaces. Help me to process my emotions without judgment, to gently untangle the knots of trauma, and to reclaim my true identity in Christ. May Your peace permeate the deepest wounds, bringing comfort and rest to my weary heart.
Thank you for being a God who meets me where I am, who understands my pain, and who patiently invites me into deeper intimacy. May I always seek your face in the quiet, knowing that in your presence, there is fullness of joy and abundant healing.
Amen.