Silence & Solitude Pt. 1
Silence and solitude can offer a path towards healing and a deeper connection with God, mirroring Jesus' own practice of withdrawing to quiet places for reflection and renewal.
Dear Underdogs,
We know many of you have faced challenges and adversities that have left deep wounds. Trauma can leave us feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, and longing for a sense of safety and peace that seems distant. It's important to acknowledge that healing is a journey, not a destination, and it's okay to seek tools and practices that support your well-being along the way.
Silence and solitude, like Sabbath, is a profound practice that can bring us to spaces of deep soul rest, eliminating the noise and distraction around us. This practice isn't about isolating yourself, which can often worsen the pain of trauma. Instead, it offers a chosen space to connect with yourself and with God.
Silence, in this context, is about creating a deliberate quietness. It's turning down the noise of the world and the noise in our minds to allow for a deeper listening. This might mean turning off your phone, finding a quiet corner, or simply taking a few moments to breathe and be still.
Solitude is the practice of being alone not out of loneliness, but to be with God. It's about carving out time to reflect, to process, and to simply be. When practiced in a safe and intentional way, solitude can provide respite from the chaos that trauma often leaves in its wake.
For those of us who have experienced trauma, silence and solitude can sometimes feel daunting. You might find that stillness brings up difficult memories or heightened anxiety. That's why it's crucial to approach these next 3 weeks of practices with gentleness, compassion, and an unwavering commitment to your own safety.
We hope these practices can help you integrate your experiences and begin to heal, distinguishing between a healthy "aloneness" and the damaging experience of isolation.
Remember, you are not alone in your journey. May you find moments of peace and connection with the Father as you explore the gifts of silence and solitude.
—Sarah
WEEK SIX: SILENCE & SOLITUDE, PART 1
Why are silence and solitude so important to our spiritual well-being? Well, we see many instances in scripture of Jesus slipping away to solitary places. We know that in his humanity, he needed moments of seclusion, not to get away from people, but to engage with the Father and pray, remembering who he was, and receiving strength to continue his ministry. Just like Jesus, we have to take moments to do some inventory on our capacity, and create space to listen to the Voice we really need to hear.
SOLITUDE VS LONELINESS
It’s important to recognize the distinction here between loneliness and solitude— loneliness is that feeling of being unknown and unseen. When we’ve experienced trauma, the feeling of loneliness can become all too familiar… even when you’re in a room full of people, you can totally still experience feelings of loneliness, often exacerbated by feeling dysregulated, stuck in fight or flight, that others might perceive you differently, or that others are untrustworthy. Most often, loneliness is driven by fear, lies, and shame.
Solitude, on the other hand, is intentional. We live in a world full of noise and distraction, and as humans, we need to practice solitude as a form of rest and retreat for the mind, body, and soul. The intention is not to escape or numb out, just as we talked about in our Sabbath practice, but to get creative and get our bodies to a physical space where we can receive love. Solitude is not a form of alienation of the mind, or retaliation of the abandonment you may have experienced, nor is it about creating distance and separation from people who may hurt you. It is simply about being with the trustworthy One who knows you best.
CHECK-IN WITH YOURSELF
As we approach this practice, we want you to take it slow, discovering the difference between loneliness and solitude, and noticing what you need as you step into the Silence & Solitude practices. Maybe being physically isolated from others is not at all what you need, and that is okay. Or that the idea of true silence feels scary because that is where voices or memories start to pop up, leaving you feeling even more triggered. There are so many ways we can do this practice while being mindful of our healing journey, whether that is being “alone together” with a trusted friend, quieting your mind by actually listening to the sounds of nature or calming music as “silence”… whatever options feel safe are the right options for you. And remember, with these practices, we start small, and slowly build upon them. The goal is always to build connection with the Creator, gently allowing Him to heal and shape you toward who he created you to be—your truest, whole self.
Let’s take about 10 minutes to check in with ourselves. You can do this at your table, or find a comfortable spot in the room. Start by taking some deep belly breaths, breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth. Wait in silence, inviting the Holy Spirit, as you tune in to your breathing, taking this moment just for you.
Once you’ve settled in, internally ask the following questions:
Does this moment of silence feel like a welcome invitation to my body, or is it uncomfortable?
If it feels uncomfortable, where in my body am I feeling it? If it does feel comfortable, where am I noticing peace in my body?
If it feels uncomfortable, what do I physically need in this moment to ease this feeling? Example: do I need gentle movement, a quiet self-soothing technique like soft arm scratches or a self-hug, some music, or a friend by my side? If anything comes up, take a moment to write it down.
Now, if it feels safe to you, surrender this feeling to God. Ask him to empathize with the way you’re feeling and sit in this space with you. Allow him to speak, or to just sit with you in silence, letting his presence hold any weight you might be feeling. No need to rush through this moment. If you are having a hard time focusing, maybe imagine your “safe place” and just be there for a moment.
Gently come back to the room, noticing the colors, textures, and sounds around you. As you come back to your table, or if you are doing this practice on your own, take a moment to write down how that moment of “silence and solitude” felt to you. Maybe it came easy and felt natural, like a nice break from the busyness of your day. Or, maybe it was a bit more difficult… it can be a chore to quiet your mind. That is okay! This is all about practice. If you notice your mind wandering, just keep going back to your breath and give yourself a TON of compassion and patience. Maybe it even helps to have a mantra to go back to, like, “I am safe, I am loved” or simply whispering, “Jesus” as many times as you need to stay centered in the moment. Healing is such hard work, and we are so proud of you for taking this time for yourself.
GROUP DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
What challenges do you face in carving out time for silence and solitude? (Ex. Overall busyness, work schedule, little kids, apartment living, extroverted personality, etc.)
What does silence and solitude typically look like for you?
What is your deepest fear and greatest hope for practicing silence and solitude this week?
Set a small goal. Maybe it’s starting with 5-10 minutes of silence and solitude just a few days out of the week, however it feels comfortable to you. Share with the group how you’d like to implement this practice into your life this week.